Geek Stuff

Study: Sports Cars Really Do Turn Women On

Despite containing drivers with notoriously small packages, women really are turned on by exotic sports cars, according to a study recently conducted by British insurer Hiscox (!).

To test the theory that high-performance cars get people hot, Moxon had 40 men and women listen to recordings of the three Italian exotics and a Volkswagen Polo. Everyone had significantly more testosterone after hearing the exotics, and all of the women were turned on by the Maserati. The guys, on the other hand, were drawn to the Lamborghini. "We saw significant peaks in the amount of testosterone in the body, particularly in women," Maxon says, noting that even women who said they had no interest in cars were turned on. "Testosterone is indicative of positive arousal in the human body so we can confidently conclude from the results out today that the roar of a luxury car engine actually does cause a primeval physiological response."

Wait a minute -- testosterone is what makes a person turned on? So what if I buy a Ferrari to impress the chicks, but then end up in a steady relationship? Will she, you know, dude-ify? Because, as the saying goes: fool me once, shame on you, but you grow a penis and this relationship is fuckin' over. Hit the jump for videos of each car so you can hear for yourself.

Guy Ghetto Rigs License Plate Flipper

Orlando Payano is a Queens truck driver that doesn't like paying tolls. So what did he do? Simple, he jerry-rigged a license plate flipper.

Apparently, Orlando Payano mounted his license plate on a hinged piece of metal then ran an attached cable through his cigarette lighter. When he went through a toll booth, all he had to do is pull the cord and abracadabra! No license plate caught on camera.

Everything was going smoothly until a Port Authority officer spotted Payano's disappearing plate in action. Orlando has denied the existence of the cable system and insists he pays tolls with an EZ-Pass tag. Good luck arguing that to the judge, Orlando. Tip: Now's the time to start working out and/or juicing, lest you find yourself in the slammer with your own EZ-Pass tag -- on that ass. Ghetto Disappearing License Plate Hack Rigged to Avoid Tolls [gizmodo]

Gungan Delight: A Jar Jar Binks Salad

A Star Wars fan and culinary artist wanted to make a Star Wars-y dish, but was reluctant to eat any of the cool characters. The solution? You guessed it -- Jar Jar.

Jar Jar Binks was easily the worst thing about The Phantom Menace. If I could create a scrumptious salad out of him and serve him up with a tasty crostini, perhaps I might have my revenge. Jicama proved to be just the right medium for my sculpture -- it's a tuberous root vegetable that is perfect for food carvings. It's crisp, cuts easily and doesn't dry out quickly. Jicama doesn't taste like much but readily absorbs the juices and flavors of a marinade or sauce.

Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures of edible Jar Jar, including one with a knife in his head, along with a link to the DIY page. And if you do decide to make one yourself, remember: save the neck for me, Clark. Hit it!

Epic Failure: How Not To Parachute

This is a video of basejumper Hans Lange vampire suiting around in Norway. Everything goes smoothly until his parachute fails to deploy properly and he ends up tumbling down the mountainside until he's stopped by a tree. He caught it all on film thanks to a helmet cam. Hans, you are one lucky mother -- an improperly deployed parachute is better than no deployment at all. Seriously, I went on one of those discount skydiving adventures once, and, long story short: they pushed me out of the plane with a fucking bookbag. Thankfully, my ghost is a hell of a blogger. First Person View of an Epic Parachute Fail [gizmodo]

Sure, Why Not?: The Enter Doorbell

The Enterbell is just that, an Enter key doorbell. Pretty straightforward. No ess curves required to understand this one. Unfortunately, it's currently only a concept created by Li Jianye. Wait a minute -- a concept? How hard is it to glue an Enter key to a regular freaking doorbell? Not very if you don't glue your hand down your pants first (I'm typing one-handed). Seriously though, if you want an Enter doorbell, don't wait for Li, just yank a key of your choice off a coworker's keyboard and glue that puppy on. Enter key alternatives include 'Home' and 'Insert'. Or, if you're not into the whole technology thing, you could just hang a sweet knocker. Knock knock. Who's there? Enter. Enter who? Me from behind, I'm feeling kinky! Geeky Doorbell Speaks For Itself [ohgizmo]

Turn Your Scooter Into A Mobile Hotspot

Is your scooter just not geeky enough for you? How about turning that bad boy into a mobile hotspot?

This how-to shows building instructions for putting together a scooter that doubles as a roving wireless hotspot, GPS device, pirate radio station, and even has enough juice to amplify an electric guitar in order to play songs over the web.

Awesome! The only thing you have to watch out for, based on the look of that monster antennae, is spinal cancer. Trust me on this one, I don't break into the hospital and steal patients' meals because I'm not a doctor. I do it because I'm hungry and my wife couldn't cook to save the last living dinosaur. Wireless scooter lets you wardrive from the fast lane [make] via Build yourself a scooter that doubles as a roving hotspot [dvice]

The New Bill Gates/Jerry Seinfeld Microsoft Ad

Remember when we posted that Microsoft was finally gonna stop taking it up the Vista and combat those "Get A Mac" ads? Well here's the first one, featuring Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld. It has a shoe theme. And, while I did like the commercial, I didn't get the commercial. Is there any getting to be got? It seems like an old Seinfeld episode. Is Microsoft selling churros now? Youtube Thanks to Terry, who has enough sense to know that big cinnamon sugar pretzels pwn churros.

UPDATE: Now With Video And Cat Picture: Helicopters Teach Themselves To Fly, Hilarity Does Not Ensue, PEW PEW PEW Does

Mad scientists at Stanford have created helicopters that can teach themselves to fly difficult acrobatic maneuvers simply by watching another helicopter perform them. Start building that bunker.

The dazzling airshow is an important demonstration of "apprenticeship learning," in which robots learn by observing an expert, rather than by having software engineers peck away at their keyboards in an attempt to write instructions from scratch. "I think the range of maneuvers they can do is by far the largest" in the autonomous helicopter field, said Eric Feron, a Georgia Tech aeronautics and astronautics professor who worked on autonomous helicopters while at MIT. "But what's more impressive is the technology that underlies this work. In a way, the machine teaches itself how to do this by watching an expert pilot fly. This is amazing."

Jesus, so all the robots need is one crazy asshole to teach them how to do something, and it's goodbye humanity. This is depressing. So, to cheer you back up, I'll tell you a funny story. I'm working from home today and one of the cats (affectionately known as The Terrorist) won't leave me alone. He keeps trying to pull the keys off my keyboard while I type. So I lightly squeezed one of his back legs to see if it was big enough for a meal, and you know what the little Kitler did? He dribbled a little wet shit out his cookie cutter -- just to spite me. Then I had to chase the bastard around the house with a paper towel for five minutes trying to wipe it out of his fur before he sat on something. And that, dear reader, is my life. Happy lunch! Hit the jump for a picture of the loveable little a-hole after I pawcuffed him. UPDATE: Video added after the jump, thanks to Whitey, who's way paler than you are.

This Is What Would Happen...

If a large meteor hit earth because Superman is dead or we couldn't blow it up like in that movie Armageddon which totally did not make me cry when I watched it. Watch the video for death and destruction set to Pink Floyd, sweet! CG Animation Shows What Happens When Large Meteor Hits Earth [techeblog]

WTF!?: Crystal Embedded Contact Lenses

Ah yes, rocks and eyes. I mean, what a perfect match. Enter "Sparkle", a contact lens with tiny Swarovski crystals encrusted around the edge. I've got to admit, this has got to be the most brilliant eye-care product I've seen since pepper spray. Seriously, what could go wrong? Well, besides looking sexy. I'm gonna make myself a pair, I'll let you know how scandalously super-sexified I look. UPDATE: Okay, so I glued some glitter and broken glass onto my regular contacts. Here goes nothing! UPDATEDER: Wow, good thing I can type without looking, because I can't see a thing. Seriously though, how long does it take to grow a new pair? Ha, I'm talking actual ball balls now, mistook the paper shredder for a commode. Sparkle - Swarovski studded contact lenses for blinged vision [bornrich] Thanks Mary, and I trusted you to lead me to the bathroom. Pfft, some friend you are.

Check Live Traffic Cams With iPhone App

Hate driving in traffic? Get a job where you don't have to commute. But for the rest of us, the ones that live 8 miles from work and spend 50 minutes getting there, there's the, uh, Metro. No wait, there's an iPhone application. Yeah, it's called Mobileyes and it can access live traffic feeds so you can see a bunch of cars sitting bumped to bumper. Now That's What I Call Hits Volume 14!

Current cities where this is available are: Detroit, Hartford, Houston, Indianapolis, Kansas City, Knoxville, Los Angeles, New York, and Washington, D.C. while other cities will eventually be added. Depending on the speed of your connection the app can show low, medium or high resolution images.

Let me tell you, there's nothing safer than browsing pictures of traffic while you're driving, it just makes good sense. And you know what else does? Flying to work instead of driving. Seriously cheapass, just buy a fucking cape already. Mobileyes iPhone App Can (Potentially) Help You Avoid Traffic [ohgizmo]

Gun O'Clock: It's Time To Shoot Something!

The Gun O'Clock is similar in design to this alarm, and puts a new spin on the "annoying as all hell" alarm clock market. When the "Pi Pi Pi Pi Pi Pi Pi" alarm sounds, a target pops up and you have to shoot the bullseye enough times to stop the noise and reset the target. The $40 alarm is currently available for preorder and is sure to make getting up a lot more shooty. Or you can do what I do and do a little bedroom skeet shooting in the morning. Pull! BLAM BLAM Damn, I am the L337 shooter. Did you see that, honey? Honey? Oh shit. Quick, somebody help me flip the mattress. Product Page via Morning Target Practice- Gun O'clock [rinkya]

The My Document Laptop Bag: Honestly, Who Needs More Than One Document Anyway?

Remember when the Macbook Air came out with that commercial of the computer fitting in an envelope and that singer that I think I want to have sex with singing that song that's really catchy? And then how people actually started making laptop envelopes like the one in the ad so they can make a quick buck to support their drug habits? Me neither, but apparently it happened. And now there's another novelty laptop carrier on the market -- the $30 My Document!

So, we figured, why not extend that already abused metaphor by storing the device that stores your "My Documents" folder in a "My Documents" folder of its own? Behold - this neoprene laptop sleeve is big enough to snugly house your laptop, up to 15.4 inches, inside. The inner fleece lining keeps everything shiny and scratch-free. Plus, we've included the pixilated cursor-pin to ram that concept home. Guaranteed to turn heads when you pull your laptop out!

Oh man, you will seriously turn so many heads when you pull your laptop out of this bag! Twice the number if you whip your pecker out simultaneously. Hit the jump for a few more product pictures.

NES Inspired Art From A Loyal Geekologist

See, being a loyal Geekologist pays off. You make something cool, and presto -- your work appears on the greatest geek website created since my dad invented this series of tubes. Geekologie reader and deviantart user =NES--stil-the-best (aka Justin) creates art based on some of his favorite classic Nintendo games. As you can see, this is a 3-D rendering of Super Mario Bros. Hit the jump for several more of these, along with a couple Legend of Zelda scenes. There are also some perfectly executed Perler bead Punch Out! and Mega Man characters. Good looking, Justin, I've always wanted to know what the original Zelda would look like in 3-D. And also, boobs -- I'm tired of staring at a damn screen. Now which one of you lovely ladies wants to make my dream come true? And then, haha, a sandwich platter? I'm being serious. Jump off for the gallery.

Showing Off: How Not To Win A Fight

This is how not to win a Capoeira fight. It really got me thinking -- If I'm ever in a real fistfight, I'm pretty confident my opponent will break me like the pasty little Eloi that I am. Unless, of course, I happen to be packing a taser and don't deep fry my own scallops trying to get it out of my pocket. Youtube Thanks to Ian, who once punched a guy back to the future.